Sexually Me

For those of you that might have wondered, I'm not dead. At least not totally. As a quick recap, I was incredibly busy two weeks before I left for my "official vacation". You know the drill. "Hey, before you go can you...?" Multiply that by 3 or 4 since the teammate that used to take care of all of those items has been gone for about a month (thank G*d), and he never really did anything that competently anyway. So I therefore have to figure out what he did, how he screwed it up, correct it, and then produce the correct results. To that end, saying that I have been busy is a drastic understatement. So I got all that I could done before leaving on vacation. Then after doing the West to East Coast travel insanity involving 3 planes, an extra 30 minutes in the air due to weather, 2 layovers, one of which was extended by over an hour for more weather, and another that was a rushed 3/4 mile dash from one plane to another, encompassing a grand total of about 10...

Lest you begin to think that this journey is a one person travail, you must know that my wife suffers much as I do, albeit in different ways. Last week was particularly trying... for both of us. In her own honest & insightful perspective, she wrote the following to share the other side of the coin with you. Enjoy. I'm used to being the strong one. The one other people go to when they're experiencing crises. The one they look to for an objective, rational viewpoint. The one who could look Ben in the eye and claim with utter truthfulness that if we couldn't find a way to stay married, I'd still be his best friend. Because I understand. I can see how difficult this is for him and I know he wouldn't have chosen this for us, if the choice was his to make. I'm used to being the strong one. But sometimes the burden of dealing with weighty matters such as these become too much to bear and even the strongest of us break. And that's what happened to me ...

So after I helped K to update her blog template tonight, by chance I clicked on my StatCounter. Now understand, I don't usually check on my stats. Sure, I like to see the little number in my sidebar increment "oh so slowly", but I don't obsess over it. At least not like, ahem, K, ahem. Seriously, she's obsessed. Just about every 3 days, we have a conversation that goes like: Her: chuckle... chuckle some more... chuckle even more, breaking out into a full laugh that now requires me to divert attention from my reading or computer work. Me: What's so funny? Her: Somebody searched for "slut wife text message" (oh yes, that was a real search term) to get to my blog. Me: shaking my head in bemused confusion & returning to my work. So I rarely go to my StatCounter details. I like knowing that people are getting something out of my blog, but I don't care that I have a random consistent reader in Slovenia. Another truth for K's blog. C...

Since I started this blog, along with my journey of self-discovery, I lived with an illusion. The illusion of keeping my mother in the dark. At least until I had the opportunity to tell her in person. You see, my mother & I have a great relationship. As good as I could ever hope for. One in which we actually strongly considered applying for the reality show The Amazing Race . In fact, whenever I visit, I consider it my task to get Mom to flip me off at least once per day. Seriously, it's a very playful & enjoyable relationship. I couldn't be more proud of how we get along. Particularly in light of how horribly my father & I get along. But that's another post. So it was with a naive heart that I thought I could hide this blog & my journey from her. I'm sure you already know the punch line to this post. Essentially the first day that K started her own personal blog (February 14th), I left a comment to it. As many of you know, a very quick &...

So Mark had done this a long time ago, and it seemed fun enough, so I thought I would post it as well just to get back in the groove. I think I've been hiding long enough. Lame? Yes. Better than nothing? Yes. As you'll see, there isn't much on this list that I've actually read, but I could add loads of my own titles if it covered a more fantasy genre. Original Source: History Detective Lifted From: Defending the Raven Instructions: Bold the ones you've read, italicize the ones you might read, cross out the ones you won't, underline the ones on your book shelf, and place (parentheses) around the ones you've never even heard of. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger) (His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Princ...

I wanted to let you all know that I'm here. Things have been a challenge in the last month or so. I'm going through therapy which is leading to incredible insights, but also to tremendous realizations about myself & who I am. All of which can be pretty draining. However, I'm here. I've got some posts in mind that I'm mentally working on, and I just need to get my butt in gear to write them. I might even take a page from Nate , and start hand-writing them. That way I can type them at a moments' notice & get them posted right quick. Stay tuned, and please know that I haven't forgotten you all.

I know that I haven't posted very recently. And it's eating at me. Because I do feel a certain amount of responsibility to you all. To try & force myself to share more of what I'm going through, and therefore help myself along the path of healing & understanding. At the same time, I started this for me, and right now, I'm feeling very vulnerable. In the past few weeks, there have been highs & lows . But mostly lows. And of late, I've been feeling even more lost that usual, and even thinking that a good cry might just help. Help me release some of the build-up. Some of the trapped emotion that I don't let go of very easily. I don't know. I might just sleep it off too. It's hard to say. The primary source for this high-level of emotion, uncertainty & depression? Well, K has been out of town since Tuesday. She returns late Wednesday, so the wait is almost over. But until then, I have too many thoughts. Too many worries. Too many q...