Without Judgment
Several months ago, after stating that I don't always feel "normal" being bisexual, my therapist mentioned that it might be a good idea to look into finding a support group. I thought it was an interesting idea. And my first instinct was to consider if there were even any groups like that in Phoenix. I mean, it's not like it's San Francisco or something. But it was an interesting idea.
The next day, in a moment of Google-itis, I found an answer. Damn you, Google! Just when I figured I wouldn't have to change or grow.
And in the top of the search was a link to an Arizona chapter of BiNet.
So let's flash forward to the night of the social.
I was apprehensive.
Nervous.
Afraid of meeting "crazy people".
Okay. I had no idea of who I would meet there.
But I considered backing out a few times.
But then I'd have to deal with the guilt of "quitting".
[I hate my sub-conscious sometimes.]
I had the expectation to keep my head low. Not contribute much. Stay "guarded". Well, that lasted all of about 5 minutes. A couple showed up shortly after the start time, and they were very similar to K & I. I mean, it's almost scary how close to us they are, in both story & experiences.
Right away, she started in with the pointy questions. The same kind of questions I had hoped to avoid by staying quiet. So my cover was blown. I could no longer be the ambiguous guy at the end of table. No longer the "curious" one, or the "uncertain" one. And it ended up being an enjoyable evening. I found a group of people that were in similar shoes. Not all of them had it "all figured out". But many of them knew more about themselves than I did. Were able to accept things better than I could.
And it was refreshing.
The jungle seemed a little bit brighter.
A little less intimidating.
And ultimately, I might have found a few people that I could be friends with.
Without pretense.
Without secrets.
Without guilt.
And without judgment.
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